I just read this on Tim Ford’s blog of a conversation he had with Jeremiah Peschka:

“You can always make fun of Brent Ozar.”

This strikes me as some immutable law of constants…something fundamental, like relativity. It also reminds me of the song “Damn it Feels Good to be a Gangsta”, wherein the attributes for a real ganster are enumerated (e.g., “real gangsta-ass ni**as can’t run fast.”)  I wonder, then, what similar laws and attributes are, uh, attributable to SQL Tweeps – those people at the conferences you know even though you’ve never met. My suggestions:

Some sing, some watch, but ALL are pro-SQL karaoke.

Jorge Segarra is to chicken what Paul Randal is to Sheep.

Bacon.

I’ll come up with more. Meanwhile, whachoo got?

-Jen